Had enough of those inane cut-and-paste interviews with Alex-wannabes? Tired of rock rags flooded with folks risking all for 15 minutes of fame? Who frigging cares that Johnny Dirtbag has discovered the meaning of life at Rifle? Certainly not that freak over there in the passenger seat of your truck — your worthless partner — pretending to read her favorite climbing mag with a glazed look in her eyes! Where's the adrenaline, people? Isn't that what it's all about? Well...
There's an exciting exception to all that mind-numbing sameness! Meet David Thoenen.
Since Thoenen suddenly appeared on the climbing scene in 2001, his train-wreck style and to-hell-with-you ethics have set him a world apart from the drab run-of-the-mill elite climber. Moving with the seasons between his home North Carolina rock and the alpine Edens of the Tetons and the Cascades, Thoenen has stealthily built his rep by boldly reinforcing every negative stereotype of the aging climber. Yet as significant as his role has been, until now he's been totally ignored by the climbing press.
We caught up with Thoenen napping on a couch in the sun room of his modest home in Raleigh, North Carolina. He consumed four cups of coffee during our chat.
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David Thoenen is a retired IT consultant who writes as a hobby. He began collecting mountaineering literature in 1958, first tied into a rope in 1964, and currently climbs twice a week at the gym to stay in shape for North Carolina rock.
Thoenen's article, Sirdar the Story of a Sherpa on K2, appear in SJ 324.
Q&A with David Thoenen, Crotchety Old Timey Climber
Summit Journal: You started climbing later in life than most climbers.
David Thoenen: Actually, Aaron, like Jon [Krakauer] and many others, I started climbing in my freshman year in college. Local outing club stuff. Nothing in the Alaska Range like those Harvard guys; Dave [Roberts], for example.
Unfortunately for my climbing career, my freshman year was also my introduction to beer, grass, and coeds. By my sophomore year, I'd given up climbing for substance abuse. Never really made any progress with the coeds. But if you have enough beer and grass the coeds don't matter much.
Which reminds me. I think a lot of young folks climb because they can't make it with the love targets. Just talk to Roper about Camp 4 back in the day. Bunch of horny, barely twenty-something guys climbing to work off their sexual frustrations. Ever wonder why Sherman was always snickering about sheep?
SJ: So when did you get past the substance abuse and return to climbing?
DT: When I hit the double nickel. One day I was watching Barney with my granddaughter. It came to me that dying on a mountain would be better than watching any more Barney.
SJ: How did your family accept your decision?
DT: They were cool with it once I pointed out the double indemnity accidental death clause in my life insurance policy. My wife actually helped me pick out my first pair of climbing shoes.
SJ: Was it easy to restart your career?
DT: For sure! I attended an OB rock camp. Boy, did I ever show those kids! One eighteen-year-old swore that climbing with me was a life-changing experience. Or words to that effect.
SJ: Which of your climbs have given you the most satisfaction?
DT: It was my red point of the first pitch of Jim Dandy (5.4; Table Rock, NC) in 2007. That really tested my sphincter tone. Reaching the first bolt was the hardest thing that I've ever done in life. Should have clipped it, but I was too gripped. Just kept going on up to the belay anchors. Cut down on the rope drag. Guess I solo'ed it; sort of.
My FAA of The Mummy (5.5; Linville Gorge, NC) in 2004 will always be special in my mind. Thirty years after its FA, I scored one for those of us that look good in etriers when I aided the crux of the first pitch. To my knowledge, it is yet to be repeated. Not many climbers in North Carolina have the prerequisite aid skills.
SJ: Do you do most of your climbing in North Carolina?
DT: Aaron, I'm as committed to the road as just about anyone on the climbing scene. Did the dirtbag thing in the Tetons until I hurt my back. Got in one climb, Cube Point (5.5), summiting after overcoming a significant attack of nausea on the approach. Then I went out to the Cascades a couple of years later to put some pressure on Fred's [Beckey] records, but I hurt my foot on South Early Winter Spire (5.4) and had to call it quits. Just as well. The post-holing sucked!
I was up in Denali in '06. Screwed up my back before I could do any climbing but found a terrific Korean barbecue in Fairbanks. Closer to home, I've been up to Seneca. Just about collapsed dead away on Old Man's Route (5.3). Hard to get heat stroke at Seneca, but I did it.
Thoenen has stealthily built his rep by boldly reinforcing every negative stereotype of the aging climber. Here he is on his second attempt of the Grand Teton Exum Ridge. Photo courtesy of David Thoenen.
SJ: We've picked up rumors that you've been insulted and physically assaulted by some of the bigger names among the professional climbers. Is this jealousy on their part?
DT: I've heard several variations on this theme, most completely untrue. I'm really upset that many of these false rumors point to Tommy [Caldwell]. I don't think Tommy spends much time worrying about my successes. There's plenty of room in the climbing world for both of us. To tell the truth, I'm looking forward to partnering with Tommy on a project someday. Maybe woodworking.
SJ: Impressive resume. Are you sponsored? Or any sponsorship deals in the works?
DT: At this point, I'm not a sponsored climber. This is probably because I always wear a helmet. We do have discussions underway with several potential sponsors willing to photograph me with a helmet on. There are many companies that have realized they need to deliver a more mature message with their advertising than they can get today from the youngsters. It's really just a matter of time.
SJ: And those companies might be?
DT: The list is long, but I can say that Viagra and the AARP are near the top.
SJ: Any heroes? Climbing heroes that have inspired you?
DT: You bet. Off the top of my head, I'd list Ives Chouinard, Jim Donini, Jack France, and even Greg Crouch.
SJ: All exceptional alpinists from mountaineering's most glorious era. They epitomize historic first ascents, extreme risk, and awesome adventure! Great choices!
DT: Yeah, but more importantly, they are all old and still alive. Imagine! There's inspiration for any rock jock.
SJ: What's next?
DT: I've had my eye on The Mummy's second and third pitches since '04. I believe that two and three could be aided if we had the right team in place. I've been meaning to call Warren [Harding].
SJ: Warren died in '02.
DT: Dang! Oh well, leading pitches two and three of Jim Dandy would not be out of the question if the right weather window presented itself.
SJ: Who are your favorite partners?
DT: It's a matter of economics. I have to pay my partners, so I prefer to climb with the cheapest. I'm retired, you know.
SJ: You pay your partners?
DT: That's the way it is with guides. They expect a buck or two for their time.
SJ: So you always climb with guides?
DT: When they'll take me. Not all will. I'm still looking around for a freebie climbing partner. Think any of your readers would be interested? Or you, Aaron?
SJ: David, thank you! And happy eightieth birthday!
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Feature Image: Thoenen "resending" a challenging W1/2 problem in Doughton Park, NC 2023. Photo courtesy of David Thoenen.